You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
