he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
