You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
