Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
