Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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