you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
