I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
