You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
