all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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