Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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