You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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