Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
