I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
