you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
