between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
