Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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