Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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