Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize