She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
