with your own penis?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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