Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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