don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
