When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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