just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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