i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
