I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize
