It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
