we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Vodka?
Forever.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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