WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
