i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
