Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
