I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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