wrigley field is MILF paradise
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
