sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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