I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I think i got beer on your cat.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize