she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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