This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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