dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
