And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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