Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
it wasn't lemon gatorade
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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