Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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