you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
