so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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