So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
