I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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