Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
