i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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