another moral hangover. fuck.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
