My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
