let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize