Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
