mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
