2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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