the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
