I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
