so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
