found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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