PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
