i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
