What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
