Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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