Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
